Letter to him

嗨~

虽然我和你认识了不是很久，可能也不是很熟。可是就还蛮重视你的。
因为在你身上我找到有哥哥的感觉，我很渴望有个哥哥/姐姐的。很喜欢一开始认识的你， 因为就傻傻跟我们一起玩，一起开心。可是后来的你不懂做么整天弄得我片体鳞伤。

不懂裘有没有在你那里提起过我呢？
其实你是不是有点点不喜欢我的?
我整天弄裘不高兴，整天跟她吵架。其实我也不想的，可是我就可能不了解她吧~ 她什么都跟你讲，我觉得你应该告诉我咯，我常常都不知道我弄到她。她很喜欢收埋收埋的，什么都不跟我讲，又没有人告诉我哦~

每次跟你和裘一起去逛街的时候我都觉得很开心的。 可是，当你们俩讲悄悄话时，我就觉得做么要酱？明明也没有其他人啊~我会觉得我在你们俩，我很多余的啊~

我很多是我都不敢跟你讲，可是又看不过眼哦~看到你整天不来上课，那你考试怎么办呢？或许你会觉得我很多管闲事，可是我也只是关心你和替你着急而已。

今天你应该看到裘发我脾气吧~过马路的时候。你心里是不是有不爽我咧。这是我感觉到的， 因为你在餐厅时，你突然用凶悍的眼神瞪了我一下，我就知道你应该不爽了。

其实我很羡慕你的，大家都酱喜欢你。跟你讲啊~裘处处都维护着你的~我只不过叫了一下“solou”而已， 她叫我不要在叫你“solou”了~。我被你弄得片体鳞伤，手淤青，牙流血她有没有叫你不要酱对我？？？？

我知道我是一个很烦的人。又没有很讨人喜欢，可是希望你不要不喜欢我啦~
如有什么要我帮的，就来找我啦~


Feeling
我写这篇文章不是要炫耀什么。只是想写一些对你的感觉而已。
如此文章让你觉得不爽，请留个言告诉我。

Sick

Recently i'm very sick of myself.
I felt that i can't do anything right.. What I did is a mess, i really don't what is happening with me. I can't do the FYP well, I just worried about my friends, but i gave a lots of pressure to them as well, i even felt tired to do the LJMU application thing. I do not mean to mess up the things or make it bad , but...........almost every week i did the same mistake.See how useless i'm.

I saw you guys keep supporting me and keep telling me that you like me and love me so much, i felt very guilty.
I felt so shame and embarrass to face you guys. I felt useless when i saw your supporting message, because i've no value to let you guys to rely on already.

I'm very tired, mentally exhausted. I know you all treated me very well, because of this, i really can't face you all.
I felt like i wanna leave you guys for a while.

Letter for her

♫~我给你的你用不着了
你也失去该有的快乐
付出的温柔再不属于我
你无福消受谁应该难过♫~

昨天刚刚过了中考。考试时，我看见你彷徨的对着卷纸，我问你还不快点做吗？不时间了。你说你不会，在等我。我看见你不知所措的样子心理也特别为你着急。
还记得之前我整天叮咛你要去上课吗？我就是不要你在考试的时候不会做。我还特的遍个骗话要你来说叫你揽着艾薇，好让我可以上课。我酱子做也要让你有上到课，考试的时候就不用背到半死。可是，你好像多次都没听我的话。

还记得有一次，我和你在讨论功课，我叫你劝彬来上课吗？你还说了我为什么为了他而和你吵架。我其实也只不过关心他而已。作为他的朋友，看见他这样，难道不劝劝他吗？我叫你劝他是因为他比较听你的话，我说什么他应该不会理会的，所以我才叫你去啊~
或许我在这件事上真的是多事了。

还记得promo web的presentation吗？我不是一直要你present吗？你说不要。我还装肚子不舒服来叫你present.我知道你很害怕，很紧张。因为我觉得那次的presentation比较容易，内容也不多。所以才叫你去啊~好让你能练一练胆量。可是你还是不要了。我其实也想要你克服你的恐惧而已罢了~

有没有觉得我好像不同了。你没来上课我没联络你了。以前看到你上网，就很想跟你聊天。可是最近我没有了。你病了我没有问候你了。你去哪里我也没有问你了。我想我以前做这些事应该有令你觉得很烦吧~

最近你身体因为压力搞到不舒服了，我想多多少少因为我给于你的压力吧~就是因为我多事，常常叫你记得做这个做那个，你才会有压力的。 回想起，你说过有一次彬因为不要去miss teng的presentation，而由我带头逼他一定要去。让他觉得有压力/不安的感觉，我深感歉意，我现在知道了，当时的我是很多事~！有机会的话帮我向他不好意思~我不是特地的。



Feelings
我写这篇文章，不是为了博取什么同情还是别的。也不是为了说我对你多好。只想让你知道我在做什么。我没有生气你，我没有讨厌你。
若这篇文章有令你有什么误会/不爽，请告诉我。我真的不知道，你几时生气/不爽我的。

the year of 09~

在09年我做了不少美丽我人生的事。一整年来，真的做了很多很多的事

让我回顾一下呗~

Jan

迎接新的一年
农历新年的时候我去了风光明媚的kuala Selangor。超美的。

Feb

人生第一次下芙蓉，去朋友的家住，玩了几天，去了不少地方可是还有地方没有去到哦。还记得是元宵节呢~
看了我的帅管家，
败犬女王，


Mar
为了功课要拍戏咯~
在sunway吃了超级丰富的sushi大餐
Apr
拍了真人故事的戏！alive
要和好友说再见了~还好我们友谊像钻石般坚硬！
May

我最特别的生日。我与好友去了停泊岛
上了advance diploma~
认识了新朋友_Xiuq and lewei

jun

jul
与朋友去petrosaints (开心）

Aug

Sept

Oct

Nov

Dec
与form5好友一起出新加坡玩
第一次在那里跨年，看了一场绚丽感动的烟花

有些东西我忘了哦~如果大家记得，请留comment给我啦~~

Recovery

Recently, I got back the feeling of being "Sidney Foong".

Throughout many things I had experienced, make me change a lot! I become moody all the day, the smile on my face is disappearing and always think of nonsense(negative side), feeling pity of myself. All because of the assignment and some complicated stuffs.It was a hard time for me, but i have a some good friends help me a lot~ They cheep me up, listen to me, try to do something to make me happy. Sorry for those things and make you all worried about me.

The blues is gone. I gone back to the original Sidney Foong that you all use to know, the Sidney that likes to play , to have fun, to talk about the 38 things and blah blah blah~~ My smiley face is back~~ hohohoho~~!!!!

Keep it on Sidney~!

No more waitings!

Actually today i date my friend to go sing k @ Sunway Pyramid. She asked me to wait for her 12pm @ Mid Valley Opp Bus stop, then we go together. 

I scared she wait for me, so i reach there in time 12pm. Then i waited for 1 hour, she hasn't turn up yet , i called and smsed her, but she didn't pick up my calls nor replying me. I have a little worried about her, thought she forgets I waiting or she lost her way here. So I smsed and told her, I'm leaving, but actually i just go into the mall and go shopping. 

Waiting an hour, I'm no feeling of angriness. I just felt disappointing, because my the other friends also put me in fool. They even worse, make me waited them for 2 hours and not just once.They will only appear together. I'm very unhappy with this. Why always treat me like that~! Did I so that not important~!Do they have the passion to meet with me? They make me hanging around like nut, do they feel sorry to me?????? After they saw me, they said nothing and just pretend nothing happened. At first I can pretend nothing happened, I "forgive" them for making me wait for so long. But recently they do it again to me~! I also don't why i still wanna wait for them. I tell myself, just let it go let it go, but after I thought back,  i felt abandon and angry! I treated myself so badly! 

Now i premise myself, I never treat myself so bad any more!

Thank for your ♥

Thank for being so good to me.
Although we are not together now but you always keep me in your heart.
You update me frequently, you really care for me. You worried for me if i in blues. (sorry to let you worry)

You treat like me a precious jewel. You make me feel my importance.
Really appreciate what you had gave me. It is really my luck to know you.
I'll never forget you.

Stay good take care~
♥sidney